Dark Brown Waffles

In a show ostensibly about a zombie cataclysm, we’re left to debate life itself. 

Remember the moment we all realized that The Walking Dead’s title was referring not to the walkers wandering the globe, but the remaining living? And remember how we all went, “Oh, okay, that makes sense, I guess.” And we patted each other on the backs for realizing that life after a zombie pandemic amounted to nothing more than a slow walk toward an inevitable death?

The producers didn’t realize we’d understood that. That’s the only way to interpret tonight’s double shot, in which we’re meant to think long and hard about both abortion and euthanasia. Before we go any further though, we ought to get this out of the way: abort the baby and burn down the barn without opening the doors. Why? BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO LIVE YOU IDIOTS. 

Abortion

Lori is pregnant with Rick’s baby, a thing she “knows” despite having also slept with Shane in the immediate aftermath of the outbreak. (Hey, her husband had been a coma for hours by that point…) She wisely decides to send Glenn back to town for abortion pills, which in this case mean morning after pills which she apparently plans to take by the half-dozen in the hopes of inducing a miscarriage. Somehow, despite many pratfalls along the way, she manages to reach the point of swallowing the dose she believes necessary before she decides instead to retch the pills back up, because hey, what’s smarter than carrying a baby to term in the middle of a goddamned zombie outbreak that has wrecked the entire goddamned planet? Maybe she’ll have twins.

Euthanasia

Meanwhile, Hershel’s barn full of walkers has been discovered, a point which the farm’s residents pleasantly ignore as they throw the walkers live chickens with broken legs to feed on. In amongst the captured zombies are Hershel’s wife and stepchild, as well as other people familiar to the family. And because a cure is forthcoming any day now, they’re being kept alive in the hopes that they can … what? In the hopes that what? Re-humanification I suppose, although I’ve never heard of that particular medical procedure. 

Emotions! More Emotions!

And so we’re left to debate life itself: does it make sense to bring life into this world and does it make sense to force “life” out of this world? The answer, of course, is no and yes. No, it doesn’t make any goddamned sense to even think about having a baby in a zombie wasteland, and yes, it makes every bit of sense to put your beloved family members out of their misery. 

What more discussion needs to take place? The world has effectively ended. Old notions of right and wrong no longer matter; all that matters is living to see tomorrow. You can’t do that pregnant and attempting to care for an infant. You can’t do that while caring for the zombie-fied. Stop being stupid.

The Layering

Meanwhile, Sophia will be found, one way or the other. Either she’ll have been captured and fed to the barn zombies, or she’ll shamble to the farm as a zombie, and in either way, we’ll again be forced to wonder: what is it about life? And when Sophia mother finds out and shoots herself or sacrifices herself to the horde or otherwise has to make a Sophia’s Choice (see what I did there?), we’ll all look back on that decision and wonder.

Or maybe we won’t. Because when there are obvious answers, it’s tough to concern ourselves with anything else.

Drama

I’ve kept complaining about rules of the show, but one was finally realized in my living room tonight: zombies only ever appear when they’re a threat. They’re never spotted at a distance. They’re never observed from afar. They never wander past. Every zombie will always pose an immediate threat. I can’t remember a single scene this season in which the zombies that were seen did not become immediately aware of the human presence and begin a dramatic interlude. So three cheers to my friend Evan, who finally teased out a steadfast rule about the show.